What was on Mother Teresa’s Wall?

I published and copyrighted “The Paradoxical Commandments” as part of a booklet for student leaders in 1968. Unknown to me, the commandments subsequently spread around the world. The discovery that changed my life was the discovery that Mother Teresa had put the Paradoxical Commandments on the wall of her children’s home in Calcutta. I learned that in 1997.

But what exactly was on Mother Teresa’s wall? I am certain that was not the “Final Analysis” version of the commandments that has been circulating on websites under her name. That is important to me, because the “Final Analysis” version can be read in a way that is inconsistent with Christian teachings and the message of the Paradoxical Commandments themselves.

According to Lucinda Vardey, in Mother Teresa: A Simple Path (New York: Ballantine Books, 1995), page 185, there was “a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the children’s home in Calcutta.” This is what the sign said:

ANYWAY

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered,
LOVE THEM ANYWAY
If you do good, people will accuse you of
selfish, ulterior motives,
DO GOOD ANYWAY
If you are successful,
you win false friends and true enemies,
SUCCEED ANYWAY
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow,
DO GOOD ANYWAY
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY
What you spent years building may be
destroyed overnight,
BUILD ANYWAY
People really need help
but may attack you if you help them,
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY
Give the world the best you have
And you’ll get kicked in the teeth,
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU’VE GOT ANYWAY.

This version includes eight of the original ten Paradoxical Commandments. The two that are missing are the sixth (Think big anyway) and the seventh (Fight for a few underdogs anyway). The wording of the other eight commandments is very close to what I wrote back in 1968.

In 1999, Rev. Robert Schuller published “Anyway” in his book, Turning Hurts into Halos (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers). He recalled that he was part of the 15-member presidential delegation that represented the United States at Mother Teresa’s funeral. When they visited Mother Teresa’s orphanage, one of the sisters said: “Dr. Schuller, look what Mother Teresa had enlarged, framed, and hung in the front lobby here.” This is what Dr. Schuller was shown:

ANYWAY

People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered
...love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
...do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies
...be successful anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow
...do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable
...be honest and frank anyway.
People love underdogs but follow only top dogs
...follow some underdog anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight
...build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you try to help
...help people anyway.
If you give the world the best you have, you may get kicked in the teeth
...but give the world the best you have
...ANYWAY.

This version has nine of the original ten Paradoxical Commandments. Only the sixth commandment is missing (Think big anyway). Again, the wording is close to what I wrote back in 1968.

A version of the commandments that has been circulating on the web under Mother Teresa’s name is a version I call “The Final Analysis” because of its last two lines. Here is one example of that version:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true friends; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world your best anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

The last two lines about “the final analysis” trouble me, because they can be read in a way that is inconsistent with Christian teachings and the message of the Paradoxical Commandments themselves. The “final analysis” phrase seems to justify giving up on, or ignoring, or discounting other people. That is what Jesus told us we should not do.

Jesus said that there are two great commandments—to love God, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. So in the final analysis, it is between you and God, but it is also between you and “them.” And when it comes to them, Jesus made it clear that we have to love people and help people anyway. We can’t give up on them or ignore them or write them off. That is the point of the Paradoxical Commandments as well—we find meaning when we love and help people, no matter who they may be, or how difficult they may be. We find meaning by loving and helping them anyway.

Comments

[Adrien Neely]

Mr. Keith, I really enjoy your writings. They have been very inspirational to me ... and, I love to share them with others. Looking forward to the day when you can get to Atlanta to speak. We would be honored to help sponsor or host your visit. I am looking into a venue, costs, etc. God Bless you and yours, today ... and, always!

Adrien M. Neely, Life & Career Coach

[Gail Pursell Elliott, "The Dignity and Respect Lady"]

Hi Kent ..
I have a slightly different perspective on the "final analysis" lines. I don't see them as recommending writing people off, giving up, or ignoring others - although I see your point in how this might be misinterpreted.

I find them to be a helpful reminder to not react to what someone else might do and to remember that what we think, say, and do regardless of the cirucumstances of our lives, are choices we make that are between us and God.

Of course I tend to be a "closet Christian mystic" so perhaps that has a lot to do with my interpretation. :)

Glad you have put this blog together. I admire the work that you do and have done.

Blessings - Gail

[Ralph Bormet]

Dr. Kent M. Keith:
In the final anlysis, God expects you to love unconditionally, anyway.
Ralph Bormet

[mitch]

testing

[Jayashree Prasad, Manipal.]

I had first read the "anyway" poem on a hospital -wall, here in India (ten years ago), when my husband pointed it out to me. It said Author:Anonymous. Today, while happening to use the net, I accidently got to know that those are the ten paradoxial commandments by Dr. Keith. I read more about Dr. Keith as well as his writings. It was interesting to learn that Mother Theresa had got these commandments inscribed in one of her orphanages! And many think that the "anyway" poem is by Mother Theresa!! If these commandments should have touched a great soul like Mother, imagine the depth and reality of these statements! What an impact! Truly mind boggling!!

[Cloud Starchaser]

Hey Keith:

I was thinking about what you said, but if it is between you and others and the others return your kindness with hatred, what kind of a life is that? Then your life is futile.

Sometimes it's important to turn to God in the final analysis because otherwise you'll feel like a fool for trying to do positive things in a world that doesn't care.

That's the importance of the spiritual world: to give us a foundation for acting in the way we think is right when the real world doesn't always pan out so well.

Most of the time truly good people LOSE: Jesus was tortured and executed, Gandhi was murdered, Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered, Socrates was executed: good people always get killed by the fools and the evil ones.

Without God their struggles are meaningless. Sure maybe Jesus brought hope to others after he died but he died miserable and having been sold out by those he cared about.

We need God to make the story happy, because the reality of what really happened to Jesus is miserable and horrifying.

I mean if you don't have God, Jesus was a good person who was murdered in a vicious manner for bringing enlightenment to mankind because that's how people react to great men. This is the true nature of reality: meaningless horror. And God exists to reverse that.

[Dorothy]

I don't quite understand why you believe it is not Christian: It is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
I interrupt this phrase means that you should do GOOD and like the song, " He'll Understand & Say Well Done. "If when you give the best of your service, telling the world that savior has come, be not dismayed when man do not believe you, He'll understand and say well done." Thus no matter how much our good efforts are scorned and unappreciated and appear to be failures by others, God will say "WELL DONE" How we treat others is between us and God. It doesn't matter how they treat us in return, God knows we did what he taught us to do. In the final analysis God is our judge, not mankind.

[Kent Keith]

My thanks to Gail, Ralph, and Dorothy for their comments on the "final analysis" lines. I am encouraged by your interpretations! I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts.

Keep living the Paradoxical Life!

Kent

[Donna]

I'm with Gail. I think your interpretation is a little off on the final analysis. I personally see this as don't let the critics of how you believe get to you. "I" have the relationship with God. "They" cannot tell me how "I" connect with God. "They" don't know what or how "I" pray. "I" will not be controlled by "them", the fanatics, and I will do good.

Thank you for the commandments and how a blessing it must feel like to have a great soul like Mother Theresa to think so much of them.

[Kevin Gagnon]

Hello Keith,

I haven't read your books yet, as I only came across them yesterday March 17, 2007 at the Chapters here in Northern, Ontario Canada.

The only book they had was the Jesus Did it anyway. Although I am anxiously wanting to read that one as well, I decided to wait to get the original ones you wrote and start from there.

I also wanted to let you know that I plan on opening an all Organic Fair-Trade coffee shop here, and will be selecting wall art. The Paradoxical Commandments will most deffinately be mounted on the wall. I may contact you in the near future about stocking the framed posters for sale in the store. Not for profit, just to get it out there and help make a difference. I may even consider the mugs if that doesn't infringe on any laws and rules you may have with the copyright.

Thanks for your time.

Kevin Gagnon

[Mariana Pestana]

Thank you for helping other people.
I liked very much our organization

[Michael from Israel]

Dear Dr. Keith,
These commandments were truly a deep eye opener for me. An amazing, concise way to direct your life into the right timless perspective. The firt time I heard them, cited by Wayne dyer in one of his tapes, I just cried, out of the sheer stunning truth they expressed. A feeling that I knew this truth all along and now finally it was put in the most clear way to me. The discussion above shows that we actually agree about the commandments, regardless of whether the final analysis lines are included or not. I personally feel a need to add them, for the reasons mentioned by others here. I truly believe that you gave a real gift to humanity in these commandments.
To live, daily, moment by moment according to these commandments is so hard at times! How do you do it, how do you regulate it, how do you make it a part of your nature and existence? where and how to atart and how to endure? why does it seem so hard at times, as if something in my nature pushes me to the opposite actions and reactions? I would be grateful for your advice as to the building blocks, the really important can't do without ingredients in your opinion, of materializing the spirit of your words.

[Dan]

When it says that "It was never between you and them anyway" it means that the love you give is not conditional with the reactions of others but its something that comes out of your heart because of your love and devotion to Jesus.

[nina martins]

To me, the last sentence says: " My one and only loyalty lies in being true to the God/Christ within. And when I am that - I truly love and care for my human sisters and brothers."
So, loving "them" anyway means for me to see God in them: and thus "it is between God and me."

[nina martins]

To me, the last sentence says: " My one and only loyalty lies in being true to the God/Christ within. And when I am that - I truly love and care for my human sisters and brothers."
So, loving "them" anyway means for me to see God in them: and thus "it is between God and me."

[Silly Pat]

Hello Dr. Keith

To me, the last two lines means that you're accountable only to God. You should not give up on people simply because they've returned love with hate, but you should keep on loving them anyway. This is a very important thing to remember.

Thank you for your lovely sayings. I'll post them up on my blog, and if you object, please let me know and I'll take them off.

Sincerely
Pat

[Bob Sanders]

I feel Tired
-Work hard anyway
There are too many things/people demanding my time and attention
- Focus on the most important task anyway
What I'm doing is boring and repetitive
- Concentrate on doing a good job anyway
No one will notice if I "slack off"
- God will and it is HIM you are ultimately working for ANYWAY!

[Suzanne]

I was reminded of these commandments, which I had first attributed to Mother Teresa, at a Roches concert where they sang songs from their Zero Church album including Anyway. I have never felt the last lines implied that you had to discount others, in fact the exact opposite. God expects you to love and respect others despite how hard you feel it can be.

Regardless, the Paradoxical Commandments are on my bulletin board at work (properly attributed after attending the Roches concert) and it serves as inspiration to my staff who humbly and selflessly serves the homeless. Thank you for this gift!

[s kelso]

Hi,
I teach at a school for substance abusing teenage boys between the ages of 14-18 yrs.
I have posted your original version at my home, in my school room, and in my heart. The last two lines of that version make the whole rest of the commandments seem possible, because doing what God asks with His help and allowing him to keep score is what enables us to love our brothers unconditionally. Your new version probably markets better because you left God out of it, but without spiritual maturity and growth through faith, your commandments are not possible to achieve or even possible to understand, given their paradoxes. Wasn't that your point when you named them? Your revised version doesn't hold the same powerful message for me that the original did, especially the part about getting "kicked in the teeth." The world doesn't always kick us in the teeth. Sometimes it rewards us, but that can't be our motivation for doing the right thing. We must be motivated to do the right thing because we believe in some greater good, some greater purpose that isn't about personal glory or reward. Without a faith in God (however one defines that entity)that prerequisite altruism is not possible. That's why for my money the original version, which doesn't leave out God, carves the freezer burn off of my heart and reminds me of what it's really all about. Having said that, would you please create some more posters,plaques, etc. with the original version on them.
Thanks for your wonderful inspiration,
S. Kelso